Chapter Six: How to Win by Losing

Everyday, man struggles to win a fight against his conscience. Many lose the fight because, oftentimes they give up too easily. 

In order to justify this struggle, however, we need to look within and try to understand why we struggle in the first place. As an example, moreover, we need to examine our own struggles and compare it with someone who has endured it.


Jacob’s struggle, in this case, represents our struggle with the Divine and with the world, insisting that it must become what we want it to be according to our desires.

Because we are strugglers, our experiences have conditioned us to be always vigilant for the next fight or threat, leaving the search for peace and serenity to other, less endangered peoples. Today, looking around, there is sufficient evidence in our present collective and individual experiences to justify such a view.

Furthermore, tradition teaches us we need to toil to perfect the world, fight on behalf of the underprivileged, and stand with our people. 

This similar tradition, however, challenges us to cultivate a quieter place within, where serenity and deep trust in the world are possible, amidst these external challenges. Surely, evil will continue to bring us down; but despite this, we are asked to aspire to basic trust in the goodness of life, to profound faith in the availability of blessings, to the presence of spirituality even in the darkest times (Kushner, 2002).

Next, as humans strive and desire perfection, we must remember that in everything our Heavenly Father give us, we must receive it with tranquility and joy; and in everything God measures out to us, we should be very grateful and believe there is a good, for evil cannot come from God. 

Our faith in God sweetens the evil and transforms it into compassion, making good from evil, by virtue of His pure, faithful thought. 

This, I firmly believe, was the faith of Jacob who always desired to live in peace and tranquility and to receive everything for good, even in times of fear.

Reflection

The following question reflects my own struggle as a human being: 

“What kind of life can a person have in a world where he couldn’t trust anyone?”

It is difficult for me to explain why I chose such a question to explain my own struggle. I am currently experiencing a struggle, which is too difficult to bear. Doing so would reveal something intricately personal and would expose my own weaknesses. Nevertheless, it is my obligation as a student of life to detail the following.

All my life, I have been ridiculed, envied, and taken advantaged of by many. For varied reasons, people would find fault in me, and thus, would either play tricks or label me as being stupid, trying hard, and unintelligible.

The most vivid instance, which illustrates my struggle, is when I was in college. It recently dawned on me, that a certain classmate of mine, smart as she was, took advantage of every person she met to gain leverage, including me. 


Mabelle Galapia, not her real name, masked herself as being accommodating, generous, and friendly; but she had a hidden agenda. She mesmerized my other classmates, including me into thinking she was kind. 

Mabelle used her innate skills to make everyone around her to like her and believe everything she said. Her intelligence and cunningness masked her true self from others so she may not become vulnerable to emotional attacks.

I now understand this behavior as Jacob’s own struggle for morality of the first to be true of her. Thus,

“There is the morality of cleverness and wit, in which success means getting the better of the other person by means of a slick business deal or clever answer, the worst sin is letting someone take advantage of you, and the worst punishment is shame, having other people think less of you for having bettered.” (2)            

Wow! Did I consciously allow myself to be taken advantaged of? Is it a sin to be ignorant of this cleverness or wit?

No. I believe, God, in his mysterious way, masks us from this immorality and evil people like Mabelle. It is only now that I realize the ramifications of her behavior towards me. As a result, I reap the sadness caused by Mabelle's desire to be recognized and to be successful.

The question now is, do I manifest the same attitude that was shown to me?

Maybe. It would be hypocritical if I deny not exemplifying the same behavior. I now struggle with the same moral dilemma; and everyday I suffer from guilt and fear. 

My life is my karma. I genuinely fear success because I fear my own morality.

This reflection acknowledges the first question I posed. As a result of my reflection, it becomes too difficult for me to trust just about anyone because of the fear of being ridiculed again. 


The difference now, is that, I am fully aware and conscious of other peoples’ activities towards me. I only pray our Heavenly Father grants me strength not to fall into the same moral trap that Mabelle and other people like her set for people like me.

COMMENTS ARE WELCOME.

Reference:

Reference withheld for Intellectual Property Rights purposes.